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“Restoring Relationships”

Alex begins, “After four years of medical school and five years of residency, I’d put everything on hold emotionally. In regard to relationships. I thought, before I start a job in the real world, I need to get rid of some self-destructive mental habits.”

“My marriage wasn’t working. I didn’t feel like we really had a relationship. It led to a lot of negative feelings, realizations of things that weren’t going right. We hadn’t realized how much it had suffered and been neglected. We had to start getting to know each other again. The bottom line is, Barnabas saved our marriage. It gave us a common language and the tools to relate to each other. It’s given us a daily dialogue, or workbook, to use. It’s helped us grow together and start going in a similar direction.”

Kevin continues from there, “I realized I needed to make some changes as I had shut down emotionally. I had no real highs, no lows, and was just fairly numb. For the first time, I looked inside and asked what my responsibilities were. I realized I had to change and Barnabas was the next step.”

At Barnabas, Kevin recalls, “One of the leaders turned and asked me, ‘Are you an angry man?’ Yep, I am. ‘Are we going to see that today?’ Kevin laughs. “That’s when it hit home. I’d never really faced it, honestly faced it. Barnabas was probably the single biggest thing I’ve done for myself in my life, not only as far as how to relate to other people, but how to feel again, how to get back the passion of life.”

Alex adds, “One of my big issues was worrying what everybody thought of me. And although I was determined not to talk about that, I ended up sharing that fear. And I was still accepted and loved; it wasn’t shocking to anyone. I realized that despite all this stuff I thought was so horrible about me, I was still a loveable person, without having to hide.”

Kevin says, “It’s harder for me to deceive myself now, to play those games that I used to. It’s helped me forge a better relationship with myself and see myself from a new perspective. It’s helped improve my relationships with my wife, my daughter and with my patients.”

“I honestly don’t know anybody who wouldn’t get a tremendous benefit from Barnabas. [The people who] had an idyllic childhood where everything was golden are probably the people who would get the most out of it. I know, because I was one of those people. To get any benefit out of [Barnabas] you have to face places you haven’t been to in a long, long time. It’s a lot of work. But the gain you get is truly a miraculous thing.”

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